My first STD was from a foam party
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
