Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
