Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
