Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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