My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
