I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize