Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
