Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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