how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
