just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
