I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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