Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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