Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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