I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
