I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize