why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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