it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
barbara walters just said penis...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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