3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
