Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You can't special order awesome
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
