***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish I only lived at night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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