Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
