we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So much Jack, so little girl.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
