You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
