True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
