get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize