Fuck appropriateness.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize