We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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