It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
