i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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