shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
