On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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