is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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