Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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