I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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