Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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