that's an acceptable place to lick
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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