i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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