Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
