I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
