He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Can you bring me the toilet please
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
