he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
