Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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