Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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