swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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