im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
