so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I could fuck to npr.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize