Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is it penis luge time yet?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
