He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize