Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
