Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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