Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Welp...herpes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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