I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
