I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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