The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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