you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
