Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
