and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please don't give away my fajitas
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
