Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
