I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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