i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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